Monday, December 3, 2012

Love THAT Feeling

So, it just goes to show you what I know...the pain in my leg was not from a quadricep strain. Noooo...a femoral stress fracture. That never even entered my mind, but maybe I did kind of know? As one of the doctors was bending my leg back and forth, asking over and over "Does this hurt? How about this? Does this?", I started to feel like an idiot because I was having a hard time explaining exactly where the pain was. I gave a little laugh and said, "It's almost like it's my bone."


I heard the first doctor confer with the main doctor outside my door after I had had an x-ray and "stress fracture" came up often. Wow - that just sounded so serious. I liked the sound of "quad strain" better. Dr. Johnson came in and had me hop on my right leg. Not a problem. Right leg is fine. Now hop on the left...came down on it after one hop and wanted to scream. He said that little test is a huge indicator of a stress fracture. I was sent on to have a bone scan done the next day, and there it was on the computer screen that I snuck a peak at. Crap.

Of course, running is out for several weeks. I was starting to get frustrated and depressed the second week of no running, but after confirmation of a significant injury, I just have to accept it and find something else for now. It is what it is. Pretty much the only way for a stress fx to heal, is time and no impact. I've been vocal about how much running means to me, and being away from it for this long now really does make me see how much my mental health depends on it! I so miss that time to challenge myself, work up a sweat, breathe in, breathe out, focus, clear my head, get the blood and muscles moving, take count of my blessings, be out in nature, bond with other runners. Yes, I've been down lately. But I'm already tired of myself being down.

Yesterday, I rallied the troops (the family), and we had a Triple F (Forced Family Fun) adventure on our bikes. The girls were not happy being told that's what we were going to do, but I knew once we got out there, they would love it. They did. We drove out to Crockett Park and rode the trails on what was a beautiful, mild-weather day. Charlotte sang while riding, and Paige chattered non-stop. I listened to them, but would also drift off to my "happy place" - not the same feeling I have while running, but I was just so thrilled to be out moving. That afternoon, I decided it was up to me to keep that feeling going.

This morning, I drove out to the rec center. Found out for just $3, I get to use everything in the Fitness Center. Gyms aren't really my thing...I belonged to an all-women's gym right after college, then again for several months when I lived in Memphis while a flight attendant. I would just rather be outside. Can't stand having tvs on everywhere. It's so stuffy. But, I'm limited right now to what I can do, so I am now going to a gym again. And I loved it! I did 30 minutes on one of those sit-down bikes (didn't really care for it, but it was a good warm-up), then 30 minutes on an elliptical. That was more of a workout, and I did enjoy it. I started to get that feeling...the blood was pumping, the heart was working, sweat was pouring. I still hate the tvs and that I'm indoors, but I was feeling good. I didn't want to leave just yet, so I decided to lift some weights for my arms. Something else I haven't done since my 20's! Felt good!!

I can't wait to be out running again, but I'm so glad I have found a place and things to do to keep me active and...sane. When I run, I don't do anything but run - this is actually giving me an opportunity to focus on other areas, and become stronger all around. I go for a follow-up Jan. 9. I hope - pray - the fracture will be healed by then and I can slowly start back, but I need to be prepared if it isn't. I just need to make sure I always have a way to get that feeling.

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